Wintering; A guide to wellness in the cold, dark night of the soul.
It is upon us all again. Winter. And yet somehow we are all caught off guard. Like the death of a loved one who has long been on life support and making subtle hints about the state of things, the endurable months that comprise a Midwest summer and fall (I do not include Spring. Spring is irrational and no one can count on her doing anything helpful. She is a Trollop.) have exhaled their last. We are left stunned, indignant, and searching for the meaning in it all. We aren’t ready! It was too soon! What are we supposed to do now!? Also, “Why is it so friggin’ dark!?
I am 43 now. I have lived in the Midwest for almost the entire time and yet, with annual rhythm, I find myself having stand around conversations that embrace the very pillars of insanity’s definition. We still say things the very first explorers to the region may have said. Phrases, at one time helpful for pioneers or tourists, now simply the button we push to receive an electric shock…just enough to feel alive again.
These phrases include but are not limited to, “It’s not that cold really if it weren’t for the wind…why do I live here?” and “It’s dark at 4:30pm…You go to work in the dark and you leave in the dark…why do I live here?” and, “I am fantastically depressed…Why do I live here?” and lots of, “That’s it! Next year we are moving to Florida!” Also, you’re not moving to Florida because your millennial children expect you to babysit for free and you know as well as I do that Florida hosts more serious spiders, hurricanes, and Ron DeSantis. So it’s not worth the trouble.
In the face of all this, I would like to offer some instruction, such as it is, with the hope that we can move past our refusal to admit this is all happening again. Perhaps, if we can process the season fully, in the same way we expose a long repressed childhood trauma, we can move past this bit of arrested development. Perhaps we can have another kind of conversation next year…perhaps we have fewer psychotic breaks. I don’t know the answer. But it’s cold outside, so Instead of avoiding my wellness coaching responsibilities by frolicking out of doors, I have nothing better to do right now.
Wintering. I have gone and made it a verb. It is simply a word I have probably stolen from a podcast and used for my own purposes. It means to embrace a season of dormancy. To sit in the place that you are rather than the place you think you should be. It is to sit in discomfort a little even. To plan. To nestle. To compost. It means whatever I want it to mean, I don’t have to explain myself, I’m wintering. Get it?
Go on long walks…outdoors.
Every year I make this suggestion to clients looking for ways to fight off additional calories and seasonal depression and every year I hear about how cold it is, and that walking outdoors is not possible. Let me just stop this here. As participants in the 21st century, we have access to more productive thermal wear than James Cook crossing the Antarctic Circle. Go buy some of it. Use your 21st century credit card if you must and be grateful you don’t have to kill a whale to wear as a hat. Some of my favorites are:
• Sherpa Fleece lined leggings. You can find these on Amazon under some Chinese companies spelled with all consonants. They feel like you are wearing a rabbit. You will not be cold.
• Any brand of coat that appears to take itself seriously. Carhartt, North Face, Patagonia, or even higher end stuff with unaffordable, unpronounceable names like Fjallraven, or Haglofs. Pay up if that’s what it takes to get you outside. But if the budget is limited, I have always worked long terrible hours outdoors in Michigan using the “layer everything you have” technique. It works well enough.
• This should be obvious, but a hat and gloves that you’ll actually wear. Have at least two pairs of each for the times you misplace one and think that will work as an excuse (it will not because you have two). These are not to be cute. You will not find them on any influencers. The best kind make you look like your practical grandmother, standing outside, on a mountain, in Germany, in 1935.
• Feet are the worst. They can make or break your resolve. I often wear old tennis shoes with a heavy sock and leg warmers and do alright. You will have wet feet at the end but they are light and generally have good traction, so it’s worth it to me. If wet feet are a deal breaker, they make TONS of very functional boots these days at all price points. Start googling. This is also not an excuse.
• In the interests of foot wear, I will also suggest having a set of Yaktrax around. These things will make your life so much better in the mix of snow and ice that is the Midwest. Just trust me. Also you will feel savvy and competent, and not like some winter rookie freshman, stumbling around like a drunken baby deer at his first frat party.
Succumb to the Darkness
We deny this with electricity, and watches, and overscheduled children’s sporting things, but there was a time, not so long ago, when we followed the darkness and went home and went to bed because there was simply no better option. I know we can’t romanticize a past that seems unburdened with the social trauma we are currently living in with its noise and flashy lights. We have more options now, which are both good and bad, and we don’t generally die from cholera anymore, which is good. So without burning your cellphone, reevaluate your schedule where possible and go home when it gets dark…and stay there. Put on your comfy things. Watch or read things that generate a feeling of peace or humor or kindness. Stop doing the things you’ve been expected to do all year. You can pick them up again later if you want. Say no. Your kids will be fine.
Simplify your workouts.
Lift heavier. This is a perfect time of year to grow under a quiet blanket of the body fat you’ve been trying to lose for years. It’s still there, because you are always doing the same kinds of things and overthinking it as you go. Workout with an attitude toward simplicity and straight forward outcomes.
• Push heavier weight to demand adaptation and keep track of where you can measure progress.
• If you’ve been going long on cardio all year, shorten it to bursts of truly taxing effort and speed. Perform shorter HIIT work. Focus on Cardio improvement and not simply fat loss by hamster wheel.
• If you have an injury from the year, focus on rehabilitative movements. Seriously, focus and simplify your purpose. So many people shorten the process of recovery and rush into preferable lifts out of sheer boredom and frustration. I get it. But winter in this as well. Take this dark, fallow time to align your spine, strengthen your core, and do the stupid shoulder stretch you hate.
Take Inventory.
How are you doing? Where are you stuck? Emotionally, physically, relationally, or financially? How long have you been stuck there and is it time to reach out for help? How is your marriage…no really…the real one… when the kids are gone and the phone is off? Are you spending too much? Eating too much, scrolling too much, or avoiding reality too much? Winter is dormancy. It is a frozen, lifeless, unimpressive landscape waiting for regeneration. You could keep going all year like a plant under a lamp, but it’s unnatural and we can all tell the difference. Don’t be afraid to look all brown and unproductive for a season. Ask yourself the kind of questions that demand a little death to the life you have been living and let time have some space.
That’s it for now. Winter well my friends, and maybe next year we will all have something more interesting to complain about. Better yet, we might find that turning tough, brown and uninteresting for a while is actually where we find out how to live.